Bring on the Tears: Love Stories Are Not for the Newly Divorced

Not long after The Ex left, I found myself watching Last of the Mohicans for the zillionth time. But instead of salivating over Hawkeye as I’ve been doing since I was seventeen, I found myself in puddles of tears over his bond with Cora.


“Look at how much he loves her,” I wailed to Divorce Dog, honking my nose into a tissue. “He never takes his eyes off her. He stays during a siege for her. He tracks her for, like, weeks! He runs up a mountain for her! Straight up a vertical freaking mountain! He’d never leave her because she doesn’t like the same movies and TV shows that he does. What happened to all the men of honor?”


Divorce Dog regarded me through one open eye, then went back to sleep on the couch.


After that, I avoided love stories. But the hideous things ambush you if you’re not vigilant.

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